December 2009
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june 27, 2006 11:21 a.m.
Dear Sluggish United States Economy, I can save you.
I own an extremely successful hamster factory in booming Kent, Ohio and I have a revolutionary plan that will imbue the nation’s coffers with much-needed raw capital. Did you know according to the 2000 Census, there was upwards of 6.7 million hamster owners in the U.S.? That was 6 years ago. There’s got to be a shit-ton more by now....
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“You must swear, legally swear, that you’ll not kill that shark, or...
– The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)